Five Problems with Social Media

Social Media, how I love to hate thee. I love social media for sooo many reasons. I can connect with my family overseas, I can shop for more things, I can network my business, and connect with like minded people who are far in distance, but have grown close in my heart. Just as there are positives to social media, there are some negatives. To be honest, some days these negatives keep me from posting online, or even logging on at all.

Social Media for me started back on Sconex and Myspace. I had a few friends on Sconex, but didn’t use it much. Now Myspace, tuh! I had hundreds of friends, from school, from neighborhoods I hung out in throughout the city, work, friends of friends, family, etc. Now did I speak to all these people? HELL to the NO, but I had them on my page. Back then you could put people in your top 5. Every day I would upload my pictures(cause I was cute!), and update my top 5 people. People would freak the hell out if they weren’t placed in your top five. It instantly caused a stir. Which brings me to my first problem with social media.

#1: People interact less... The ending of Myspace and the beginning of Facebook asking us “What’s on your mind”, is how people began to interact less. Everyone logs online to express his/her feelings, meanwhile, there is a living, breathing soul standing/sitting beside them. Instead of typing in how you feel, why not have a conversation out loud that would probably take all of five minutes. Sharing how we feel definitely makes us feel better, (Which is why facebook asks “What’s on your mind?”) but we should be sharing with those who actually connect with in reality. More often than not, people online are just that, people you met online. Should an emergency happen to you, most of those people probably don’t even know your real name. It’s important to build connections with people in real life, face to face interactions help maintain a healthy lifestyle.

#2: Scammers and Spammers: I’m so sick of being tagged in numerous music videos, chain mail messages, work from home companies, groups that cater to nonsense, etc. I understand that social media was created to connect, and share, however I don’t want to be that connected. There should be an online etiquette course for dummies or something.

Some people are able to create an image for themselves on the internet and scam people for money. Sadly there are limited ways to monitor this, so beware when you are speaking to someone online and they ask for money or banking/card information. You need to know the person you are talking to, MEET him/her in person at least!

There is also a chance you might be shopping on instagram(twitter/facebook), and there could be a link you may click on that may give your computer/phone a virus. I personally only shop through websites I am sure are legitimate, but even they can be hacked, so I try to monitor how often I purchase from these sites as well.

#3: Unwanted Messages: My Momma always said being beautiful is a curse and a blessing. Personally I can live without the unwanted messages I receive online, ALL of them. AGAIN there should be an online etiquette course. It should require you to pass the course in order for you to obtain an account. I get hundreds of messages online a day. It annoys me mostly because there is NO way to filter between the unsolicited pictures of male body parts, and hey beautiful/sexy messages, from the I’m looking to do business/ become a client messages. Don’t even get me started on the old people/novice social media users, who send -forward this message to receive money, or forward this message to avoid bad luck. Like if you don’t stop sending me this nonsense, I’m NOT forwarding this to any place but the trash folder!

#4 Bullying/Stalking: I’ve noticed more often that not that some people like to sit online and lurk. They will monitor all the things others post, won’t post much, and when they do it’s a meme or something to that effect. While I don’t believe that people should have to post all the time, I do believe that if you choose to have a social media account, you are choosing to be social, which means you shouldn’t be watching all the time like a stalker. Yes it is stalking if you follow a person on Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, etc. You’re literally watching everything they do BUT not interacting with him/her. Which is the equivalent to standing outside his/her window and watching them at work, attend school, go the park, workout at the gym, or having dinner with friends. If you’re friends online – like the damn photo, leave a emoji comment, oh here’s a thought say “Hi!”

Bullying seems to happen a lot more online since everyone can be anyone they want to be the moment they log on. Personally I have a “If it doesn’t apply let it fly,” mentality. When I see things I don’t agree with, I shake my head, mumble underneath breath, and scroll on. I don’t comment my opinion. Just because someone posted, doesn’t mean they wanted MY opinion. However we do live in a society that believes everything is directed at them. Which is silly, if that person didn’t tag you, its irrelevant. I’ve notice many posts that have comments that are just hateful and hurtful, yet people will laugh at it and agree. Those who laugh and agree would not feel the same should the roles be reversed. Not all things need to be said in a public forum. Social media is just that a public forum. As a whole we need to be mindful in how we treat each other, some people kill themselves based off of the feedback they receive online.

#5 Silly Trends: I’m glad I know when to LEAD, and when to be LED. I am aware that I know many things but I don’t know everything which is why, I stay in my lane. I can’t STAND seeing a post online, and scrolling twice just to see it again. I will close the app, open a DIFFERENT app, and see the same damn post, TWO MORE TIMES, from different people? Nah. I’m over this. Why is it that we have to share things we see? We aren’t being paid for them, yet we share them? Honestly, I wouldn’t complain about the posts if they were inspirational. If they helped educate the youth, hell if it educated me! If they helped people overcome traumas, if they helped people get a trade for a career. Most of them don’t, they promote idiocy, and horrible behaviors. So anytime I see a post I don’t care for I unfollow the person who shared it. I can modify what I am exposed to so I do.

Social Media can be wonderful, but it can also be a lot to deal with. There is a fine line between actually being social on social media, and just lurking. Sometimes we need to log off and actually live the life we have been given. Instead of posting about it. We have to learn to take the pictures, hold on to them for awhile, let it remind us of the moment and how we felt in during it. It is necessary to learn to be social with a purpose. Make the connection with yourself and those around you, both off and online. Don’t immerse yourself in the person, immerse yourself in the content. I always ask myself “Is this what I need to have in my life right now?” if it is it remains on my page, if it isn’t I unfollow. After all if it doesn’t apply, Let it fly.”

~~From the Desk of Ms Noir~~

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